more hotel x

when i get off work i find myself sitting in the locker room for half an hour. i stare at my phone or my shoes and i don't think anything.

i resent how bellhopping has creeped into the rest of my life. i find myself nodding my head at ppl i'm not professionally obliged to acknowledge, and i can't stop holding doors open for everybody. i'm really good at the introductory nodding and helloing. but its so canned that i get thrown when somebody opens by asking me how i'm doing. i rarely manage to tell them that "i'm good."

some of the cars are nice. the nicest was this bmw that would project the km/h onto the bottom left corner of the windshield. so space age-y and practical and great.

the biggest thing with cars is how they react to you not buckling your seatbelt. there are chimes and chirps and some of them talk to you. some freak out within the first 30 seconds while others will give you a couple of minutes. there are also cars that will beep when some part of the car is close to touching something, which is an awful feature when you're parking, because you're going very very slowly and you know the column is there and you're finessing it, but the car is beeping like crazy which only makes things worse. i have stopped to open the window because i got so anxious.

some cars adjust the seat and the position of the wheel after you start them up, which is funny as a large person. because i get in and then have this budding terror as the car closes in.

three different cars have had the james bond soundtrack playing, which is to say ppl staying at this hotel are leaning into their awfulness, which is endearing.

i stand all day with my hands clasped (WHAT AN AWFUL WORD) either in front of me or in back of me, and i stand straight and never lean against things. sometimes i walk quickly but i never jog because having two feet off the ground at a time would be indecent. this builds up in me, and whenever i have to go fetch a car i run as soon as i reach the back of the house. i run down the ramp into the parking lot. even the cold becomes something interesting. i'm inspecting the way the cold feels as opposed to just feeling cold.